Dear People                       Whom God Loves,

Dear People Whom God Loves,

WHY I BELIEVE IN GOD

I believe in God because I choose to believe in God... not because I have proof that God exists. I cannot reason to God's existence, but it is reasonable to believe in God.

If I did not believe in God, it would be because I chose not to believe in God...not because I had proof that God does not exist. I could not reason to God's non-existence, but it would be reasonable to believe that God does not exist.

Reason is a powerful tool. I believe that a mistake we often make is to believe that if reason cannot prove something, then that something does not exists.

I think that there are three reasonable positions:

1. 1 believe that God exists but I cannot prove it.
2. I don't know whether or not God exists.
3. I believe that God does not exist, but I cannot prove it.

Why do I believe in God? It began because I was taught by my mother to believe in God. That belief was reinforced by training within our church. That's not very profound. It amounts to "Mommy says so, so it must be true.

Later in the seminary, I learned the "proofs" for the existence of God. They made some sense, but I later realized that they were not proofs. The philosopher's God doesn't do much for good human living. The "Unmoved Mover" and the "Non-Contingent Being" don't really turn me on.

At a point in my priesthood, I didn't disbelieve in God; but God had - to my knowledge - little impact on my life. I now believe that God was working in my life then, but I had no knowledge of that.

As I got deep into depression and hopelessness, I cried out for help. That was a turning point. Not a big advance, but a beginning. I later stumbled (I always just muddle along) into an experience of God's presence that I had never had before. It was different from believing what I had been taught. It was different from reasoning. It was of a different order.

In my later reading, I found out about three levels of knowing: 1) Pre-rational, knowing before reasoning, 2) Rational, knowing what reason can bring, 3) Post-rational, knowing what is beyond reason.

If we are completely immersed in Pre-rational, knowledge from reason makes no sense and is easily rejected. If we are completely immersed, in the Rational knowledge, the Post-rational makes no sense and is easily rejected.

All three orders are valuable. It is in our best interest not to reject knowledge that is from a different order. I suspect that there is a Post-post- rational.

This experience I now have is that God is total love...and is understanding and accepting of me and every human person. This has become the focus of life for me. It helps me be more honest about what I am truly like and to be able to see the dark places in my messed up self. This is what makes spiritual growth possible.

We can all become like this in a limited fashion. To do this, we must move out of the condemning, punishing, judgmental mode into the compassion and understanding that allows us to grow spiritually in our mixed-up condition. I think that the best way for this to happen is to admit that we are screwed up ourselves.

Smile, God Loves You,

Father Clay

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