Dear People Whom God Loves,
As we understand what the shadow—also called the disowned self—is, we can look at how our disowned self can be owned once again. We could also put it this way. How can we become aware of our shadow and thus prevent the harm that it does to ourselves and others.
Since we are not aware that the shadow is there, it might seem impossible to bring it to awareness.
First of all, I find it helpful to realize that my having a shadow does not make me bad. Because I do bad things because of my shadow, I have the responsibility to seek healing. We may need competent help to do this.
I must let myself think about people and situations that are deeply irritating and upsetting to me. They draw me to lose my cool and I have to struggle to contain myself. I must ask myself, is seeing or even thinking about this person just giving me information that might help me deal with the situation or person or is it “driving me up a wall.” My tendency would be to rationalize that it is the former rather than the latter.
For example. Suppose I am in a situation where someone is micromanaging. I see that I don’t like that. Do I just use this information to learn how to recognize that the micromanaging—when it is a pattern—is not a good way to manage? Or do I think this person is bad, that I can’t stand them, or that I wish them harm. When this is the case, it is a sign that something is in my shadow. Maybe I don’t micromanage anymore, but there is still a resentment down inside that has not healed. This can result in symptoms like headaches and depression. It may also come out in actions which are harmful.
I find it helpful to me to reflect on this in the presence of Love who knows me just as I am and not the false self-image of myself. That helps me to look at some of my ugly stuff because Love still loves me.
I think that being human is wonderful, especially with my belief that Love is drawing us to that wonderful goal where we all love fully and our false self-images are gone. I also find it comforting to realize that I am one individual screwed-up person in the midst of a screwed up humanity.
Smile, God Loves You,
Father
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