For Lent, Pope Leo XIV gives us this concept:
“I would like to invite you to a very practical and frequently unappreciated form of abstinence: that of refraining from words that offend and hurt our neighbor.”
“Let us begin by disarming our language, avoiding harsh words and rash judgement, refraining from slander and speaking ill of those who are not present and cannot defend themselves,” he said. “Instead, let us strive to measure our words and cultivate kindness and respect in our families, among our friends, at work, on social media, in political debates, in the media and in Christian communities.”
At first, I thought: Great, this should be simple. Easy. Not a problem.
Really? Not a problem?
The first few days of Lent, I started taking stock of my language. Oh, my; I was very skilled in using harsh language. It became clear that I would need a plan. But where to start?
The easiest one where my language is harmful is when I drive. For unknown reasons, I believe that my way of driving is the best. Everyone else is…..Let’s just say….an irritant to me. They make it so I cannot get to where I want to go, in the time that works for MY SCHEDULE.
To address my swearing at other drivers, I took to the strategy of:
· Leaving earlier.
· Noticing that, at times, I am a sloppy driver.
· Taking a slow long breath when I feel tension in my shoulders
· Smiling. Hard to be angry when you are smiling.
OK, I started addressing my harsh words. However, there are other areas in my life when language is “Not At Its Best.” Such as: “When things do not go according to MY plan.” After all, my way of thinking is: “I am always right/correct/justified.” Recently, I catch myself quickly losing my patience and my harsh language follows. But using words to lower someone’s dignity, status, or reputation, through a demeaning attitude does not help the situation. Shouldn’t my focus be open, to make space for words of hope and peace. That there actually may be a better way to get something done. What can help with this? Some ideas I am trying
· Letting others give me their side of the situation without judgement. Really listening.
· Admitting: “Guess my approach didn’t work.” (That is a hard one for me.)
· Taking a slow long breath when I feel tension in my shoulders
· Smiling. Hard to be angry when you are smiling.
Am I making progress? I am thankful that Lent is a long season. I still have some weeks to go and practice these strategies. Yes, I am hopeful that I will continue to watch my language and aspire to make space for words of hope and peace. Those words for hope and peace also need a plan.
· Saying “thank you” more
· Giving out small sincere compliments
· Taking a slow long breath when I feel tension in my shoulders
· Smiling. Hard to be angry when you are smiling. This Lenten practice has given me time to reflect on how I can measure my words and cultivate kindness and respect. Hopefully next year, Pope Leo will make it easier on me and let me just give up chocolate.
Author: John Murphy – johnmurphy901@gmail.com